[Scene: Phoebe's apartment, there is someone pounding on the door and Phoebe sleepily walks over and answers it. As she nears the door, the pounding stops and she can hear the smoke detector’s wail.]

Phoebe: Oh my God! How did you get back here?!

A Disembodied Voice: (yelling through the door) Phoebe Buffay?!

Phoebe: (scared) Fire alarm? (She opens the door to reveal a fireman holding the blanket with the smoke detector.) Oh! Hi, officer—fireman, can-can I help you?

The Fireman: We found your fire alarm in the trash chute.

Phoebe: That’s not mine.

The Fireman: Yes it is.

Phoebe: How do you know?

The Fireman: The next time you want to dump a fire alarm in a trash chute, don’t wrap it in a blanket that says, "roperty of Phoebe Buffay not Monica."

Phoebe: Okay do you—Okay, do you have a search warrant? Because the last time I checked this was still America!

The Fireman: Please reattach this, it’s against the law to disconnect them.

Phoebe: Fine! (She takes the blanket.) But please God; tell me how to stop them from going off!

The Fireman: There’s a reset button under the plastic cover.

Phoebe: There’s a reset button?! Ugh, thank you! Thank you! (He exits and she goes to shut it off.) There’s a reset button! My God! Why didn’t I see that! (She takes off the plastic cover and looks for the button.) Reset button, reset button, where is there a reset button? (Finds it.) Oh here it is! (Picks it up off of the floor.) Oh! (She presses it hard, but of course it would help if the button was still attached to the detector. In frustration she presses it so hard it causes pain in her thumb.) Ohh, God!

[Scene: The fire escape, Joey is now hanging off of the bottom rung of the ladder that won’t move and Ross is watching from above.]

Ross: Okay, do-do you have a good grip?

Joey: Yeah!

Ross: Okay, I’m going to start climb down you now.

Joey: All right! Just hurry up!

Ross: Okay. Now-now-now should I climb down your front so we’re face to face or-or should I climb down your back so we’re-we’re butt to face.

Joey: I think face to face.

Ross: I would say that.

Joey: Face to face, yeah!

Ross: Okay, here I go.

Joey: All right.

(Ross steps onto the bottom rung of the ladder and then steps on Joey’s chest.)

Joey: (grunting) Oh my… How much do you weigh Ross?!

Ross: I prefer not to answer that right now, I’m still carrying a little holiday weight.

(Ross continues to climb down. He puts his other foot further down on Joey’s torso, but that doesn’t work very well and he’s forced to wrap his legs around Joey. Which then forces Joey to get a nice and close view of Ross’s crotch.)

Joey: Y’know, when we talked about face to face, I don’t think we thought it all the way through.

Ross: So what do you want me to do?

Joey: Well, just shimmy down me and drop!

(Ross continues his trek south, and when they get face to face.)

Ross: Hi.

Joey: Hi.

Ross: (looking down) M-maybe I should hang and you can climb down me.

Joey: (angrily) Yeah? Maybe we should talk about that for a little while!

Ross: It’s still looks pretty far!

Joey: It’s not that far! Just drop!

Ross: Do not rush me!!

(Ross continues south and his now wrapped around Joey’s legs.)

Joey: Ross, you should know that my pants are startin’ to come down and I’m not wearing any underwear!

(Ross panics and falls off, dropping to the ground with a huge crash.)

Ross: Oww!! My ankle! I really hurt my ankle! I think I twisted it when I—Ooh, a quarter!

[Scene: Monica and Chandler's bedroom, they’re cuddling.]

Monica: That really was some of your best work.

Chandler: Hm-hmm, I told you! (Looks at the clock) I can’t believe that I’ve only got two hours before I call in sick for work.

Monica: I have to be up in seven minutes.

Chandler: Well, you’re not gonna believe this, but if you have seven minutes…

Monica: Really?!

Chandler: Do you wanna?

Monica: Okay! You get the vacuum cleaner and I’ll get the furniture polish!

(She runs off leaving a stunned Chandler behind.)

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